Negative Nelly.......

The power of negativity.....

Some days I wake up negative, those days are seriously frustrating days. Other days I wake up ready to fight these crazy feelings and am pleased to be there, in control and ready to go. 

So how much is behind the power of positivity? 

Now don't get me wrong, any of you guys that know how I feel, when anxiety levels are at their peak, any thoughts of positivity go flying out the bastard window. But on those days, when I feel strong and in control, I literally laugh at myself. I can tell my story to others, giggling at my silly ways, and smiling that I can recognise my thoughts are unfounded and nothing to be worried about. 

Anxiety is a devious little sneak. 

It knows you are frightened of it, it knows how it can cripple your entire days thoughts. It knows that once that vicious little circle of worry is in your mind for the day, that it's in. Little fucker. 

So my eternal question to myself, and to all you lovely little worriers, is how do we break it? Kick it in face, squash it, sit on it, set fire to it to ensure its demise. 

I was due CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) last Thursday, but they unfortunately had to cancel because of the bloody tube. So I'm off tomorrow (well today as you read this), and I must admit I am very much looking forward to it. I know and understand the principles of anxiety. I know how it makes me think and how it makes my body feel. I'm not convinced something serious is wrong with me, or that I am going to die. My fear is that this isn't going to go away. But I am realising that the person who is doing this to me is myself. 

5 months I've been on anxiety red alert. 5 very long, tedious, tiring months. If I can deal with that, surely I can deal with the uphill climb to peacefulness? 

Negativity is all around us, we all create hideous negativity every day. We judge every single human being we lay eyes on. I am also guilty of this, so I won't go preaching. But one thing I have decided on, is that I don't want to be one of those people. I cringe at myself for thinking bad things about others and I cringe even harder listening to others slagging people off. Part of my job as a beautician is to listen to people venting. Explaining their insecurities in obvious ways and by me just picking them up in their body language. It has a profound effect on how people view themselves and how they live their lives. We really should be a kinder race. 

I'm in my naughty struggling to sleep pattern right now, so hence the late post. An over tired body creates an over tired mind. 

The human body is EXTREMELY powerful. I defiantly contributed to the way I'm feeling, by allowing the fear to take hold. I most definitely plan on correcting this. 

X